Post by Cassiel on Mar 25, 2016 13:00:35 GMT -8
PAIGE PRICE--
Comfy couches were seriously the best thing ever, especially after a rough night. Paige was finally starting to wake up, wrapped up a bit much in her blanket, a little groggy as she didn’t realize quite how much, hitting the floor with a soft thud. She sighed and shook her head sitting up and rolling her eyes. “...Good morning world.” She grumbled a bit more, rubbing her cheeks as she unwound the blanket, proving to herself just how restless she had been in her sleep.
She had seen all manners of things in her dreams. But that was the problem with them… how much of it was a dream… and how much of it had been real? She shook her head some more, as she shoved herself to her feet, she headed to the bathroom, washing her face, trying to wake up some more.
“Bah.” She looked to herself in the mirror for a long moment, then away, drying her hands as she decided to pad upstairs, make some coffee at least and try to really wake up. She grabbed her phone to see if she had missed anything, slipping it back into her pocket. She knew nothing had come in, she couldn’t sense anything upstairs and she knew if the wards were tripped that there would be people here already. Trying to figure out what tripped it.
She opened the trap door, and then slipped out, letting it close behind her. She headed for the kitchen, getting the coffee on before moving to grab a shower, wash off the previous night, and try to see things clearly again.
….Or as clearly as she could sometimes.
Getting out, dried off, changed, she looked around her room for a moment, her perfectly made bed. She couldn’t remember the last time that she slept in it. She tapped her lips a moment, nope. Not even a chance at even taking a stab in the dark to remember. She chuckled a little.
Heading back to the kitchen humming she noticed that the sun was shining, a momentary reminder that the world hadn’t burned yet. Even with everything that had been happening. And she got down a mug, getting herself a cup of coffee, she noticed that she would need to go shopping, but she would see if someone from the bunker wanted to go with her. She knew they had asked her not to go out alone. The same request that they made of those in the bunker. And… she did try to keep to that.
Besides. After she promised someone, she had kept to that. Because a promise was a promise and he’d be upset with her. For breaking that trust. She was humming still, as she thought over things, closing her eyes as she sighed and opened them again. Nope. Still couldn’t move anything. Bah! She had read in the tomes it might be possible. Considering her gifts. Maybe she could talk to someone about that. Figuring herself out more. She wanted to be a bigger help.
Her aim was a lot better now, target practice went better (especially considering she kept her eyes open now), and lord knows she was armed all around the cabin. They had made sure of that. She tapped her fingers on the counter, as she pulled out her phone again, texting Mik.
-When you or one of yours has time… I want to try and learn more. -PP-
She grabbed a notebook from inside the cabinet. It hid behind a loaf of bread and a few other incidentals that she should probably check on, she sat on the counter, making notes now about what she saw in her dream. Separating them out line by line to try and make sure that she could have some clarity about things. To see if she could figure out if they had just been an overactive imagination or something else. None of it involved anyone in the bunker.
But she had been in one. She took a sip of her coffee and made a face. “Jesse makes coffee… and it tastes like it was made by Angels. I make coffee… and its like… good luck getting it down!” She sighed and put some more sugar in it. Then a bit more. Just for good measure. She chuckled to herself though, getting a little grin on her face at a passing thought, then took another sip declaring it passable, and continued to write in her book.
CASTIEL--
It had taken Cas longer than he'd like too admit to make himself move from the bunker's kitchen after Zyllah'd left. He'd let his gaze linger on the doorway for far too long after she'd passed through it, just thinking. 'Tonight' she'd said, the single, simple word sounding like a promise. He couldn't let himself dwell on it too long, or he'd probably never move from this spot. Or, even worse, it might finally start to sink in. Yeah, thinking about things too much was never a good thing, for him. It lead places best not even considered – not while sober, anyway.
With a grunt, shot Paige a quick text to let her know he was on his way. Then he grabbed the bag of a few non-perishable groceries he'd stashed early yesterday before the run and, of course, the bottle he'd drug into the kitchen off the counter and wandered out to the garage. Grateful that the Impala was sitting there, he grabbed the keys from where they were kept on a peg – because, hey, she might be his now, but he shared with Claire and Ben, since he didn't go out much on his own anymore – and slipped behind the wheel.
The drive wasn't really that long, but he was on guard the whole way. Not so much against monsters, because, well...there was enough grace left to usually give him warning when something not human, not natural - and there was a sentiment that always amused him with it's inaccuracy – was close by. And, hey, he'd have some warning when his grace finally faded to the point that he could no longer even rely on that angelic sense. The perks of living with a half-demon. But he was on guard nonetheless, mostly against his own thoughts, his own feelings.
The dirt road leading out to Paige's little hideaway left a fine sheen of dust on the Impala's otherwise gleaming black exterior. Cas made a note to himself – one that was completely unneeded, because caring for the car was something he never, ever forgot, once he'd meticulously taught himself how to do it properly – to give her a good cleaning when he got back to the bunker later. Yeah, okay, maybe he was trying to distract himself. So what?
When he pulled up to Paige's place, he cut the rough purr of the engine and just sat there for a moment, eyes slipping closed briefly as he allowed his senses to expand. When he felt nothing out of the ordinary – at least, what he would consider out of the ordinary for Paige and her place – he sighed and opened his eyes again. He snatched up the bag of groceries from the passenger seat, then sat quietly for another few moments, his eyes lingering on the bottle he'd brought along. With a mental shrug that basically amounted to 'fuck it' he grabbed the whiskey and stuffed it down into the bag, then unfolded himself from behind the wheel.
He approached the door and knocked lightly, head tilted absently to the side, the faintest of smiles lingering on his lips as his thoughts drifted to Zyllah once more.
PAIGE--
It wasn’t all that much longer that she got the text from Castiel, letting her know that he was on his way. She texted him back. Her usual be careful sort of text, as she slipped from the counter, finishing up what she had been writing and setting it to the side in case she recalled something else of note. She figured it was easier that way sometimes.
Paige smiled a bit though, she did like visits, especially when it was Castiel. She was able to relax some, which was a good thing. She headed downstairs, bringing back up a box, going through the contents. There was basically something for everyone in there. It was things that she had come across since last she had seen them, and she rather hoped that they would find the things of use.
She dropped it on the kitchen table, glancing to it for a moment, before descending downstairs again. She came back up with a notebook and dropped it into the box too. She shut it back up, and then returned to her coffee, taking a sip as she tried to think if there was anything else that she wanted to make sure they had.
Granted… some of her texts she thought could help… but… it was rather hard to get her to part with that sort of thing. Considering. It… was one of those things though. If she moved to the bunker she would be able to share things all the easier. She tapped her lips, sighing some.
That was one of those ongoing struggles with herself that she had on a daily basis. She knew, that she had a lot to learn. She was a better shot for damn sure. That was thanks to some patient teaching that she had gone through. And she wanted to learn more about fighting. Be a better help than just with the books and the visions… telepathy and things like that could only get her so far. She knew she could handle it. She could. She was stronger than she seemed. And she’d been on her own long enough to know that.
She was knocked out of those thoughts though, as she heard the purr of the Impala, it was getting close, and her eyes flicked to the front door. She unlocked it, peeking out with a grin.
“Castiel!” She opened the door more widely. “Come on in..” She said as she would let him in then close and lock it behind him. “You can set the bag in the kitchen…” She was walking him that way, and as soon as the bag was on the counter she was hugging him tightly.
“Glad you were able to come up here.” She said with a smile, squeezing him again. Needless to say he had been missed.
CASTIEL--
“Hello, Paige.” While her greeting was enthusiastic, Cas' was more subdued, though he was just as happy to see her. He followed along with her to the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter with a dull thunk just as she'd instructed. He'd barely gotten it down and started to turn toward her when he found himself with his arms full of her. A laugh bubbled up as he wrapped his arms around her.
No matter how many times he experienced it, Paige's joy in seeing him never failed to take him by surprise.
He gave her a squeeze, then let his arms fall away. “Yeah. Me, too. It's been too long.” There was a pause, then he offered her a brief, wry smile. “Again.” He reached into the bag he'd brought, pulled out his bottle of whiskey and cracked it open. “You doing okay out here,” Cas asked her, taking a swig from the bottle while studying her closely. She looked...a little tired, but basically okay.
He took another pull from the bottle, then sat it down on the counter with a sigh and folded his arms across his chest. “You've been having dreams again, haven't you?” It was a question. Technically. But he already felt he knew the answer. He'd come out with the idea of getting her advice about Zee, but...this was more important.
“You wanna talk about it?” His head tilted to the side as he continued to study her, eyes narrowed slightly. He hated to think of her dealing with her burden all alone, but...it wasn't something he could really help with – not any more, at any rate – aside from listening if she wanted to talk.
PAIGE--
Paige was used to the more subdued version of Cas, so it wasn’t a surprise nor anything that made her any less happy at the moment. She didn’t take it as a slight, she could tell by his eyes that he was happy too. She’d gotten so good at reading him. She moved with him to the kitchen, and then she heard that laugh and smiled more brightly.
She knew it was always a surprise that she was so genuinely happy to see him. And granted, yes she was happy for the company, a break in the quiet. But he made her happy. He always had.
That squeeze meant the world and as it fell away, she looked up to him and smiled a bit. “You say that everytime… y’know?” She chuckled a little shaking her head as she noticed the bottle getting pulled out. “Whiskey… at… a little after noon.” She shook her head a bit, gently chiding him in her own way. “Me? Oh… place is still standing. Got plenty of fire wood. And… I take it there was more than that whiskey in the bag.” She peeked in grinning a bit. “Some of my favorite things… really?” She smiled over to him. “But… other than it… sometimes being a bit too quiet… I’m ok.” She said as she tilted her head.
“And you?” She was always able to pull things out of him. Sometimes more than the others. She saw him take another pull from the bottle, and when it was set on the counter and his hands were away from it, she slipped onto the counter, slipping it behind her. He’d have to get up close and personal to get it back, and she rather thought she was safe on that account.
“They… don’t stop anymore.” She said honestly, she’d never lie to anyone in that bunker. But… Castiel… she knew there was no use in trying to sugarcoat it. “Does it show that bad?” She sighed as she rested her head against the cabinet and looked back to him. “I … see things more often now.” She glanced to him, shrugging a little bit. “Sometimes it makes sense… sometimes it doesn’t…. same with the dreams. I’ve been writing it down, like you suggested.” She brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “But… at least I was able to get information to Alex yesterday… for you guys. At least I was a little bit of a help.”
His eyes narrowed and she raised a brow at him. “Don’t give me that look, Cas. I’m… a grown girl… and… contrary to popular belief… I’m stronger than I appear. I mean… granted… before… there was a group… that did what I do… and now… its me…” She said softly. “Men of Letters… reduced to Girl of Letters.” She went quiet a moment. “But. I’m going to find out more. I’m going to get my grubby little paws on more texts… better texts. Just need to sell the rest of my soul off to get it. And then learn to fight better. My shooting has greatly improved since the very first time that Alex had to tell me not to point my pistol at someone that I didn’t want to kill. He moved pretty fast.” She chuckled at that and shook her head.
“But… what about you… how go things in the bunker…. How… goes things with you?” She tilted her head, redirecting the conversation back to him for a moment.
CASTIEL--
Cas only shrugged, unconcerned. It was true every time. He always waited a little longer than he should before coming out, unless she specifically contacted him to ask him to come. Though that was rare, because she was always stubborn about asking for help, let alone something as simple as a request for company. Ah well. At least he did always come, even if it took him awhile sometimes to prod himself into leaving the bunker for anything other than a run he was just...needed on.
A grin was his answer to her questioning his drinking. He was billions of years old, what did he care for silly human conventions about proper times to drink? At least, it made a good excuse.
He laughed as she peeked into the bag. “Of course. I know you'll still need to go out to get stuff, but I thought it might help. No one'll notice it gone from the kitchen anyway.” He paused to consider. “Well, maybe Jesse, but he won't say anything.” His lips twisted a bit, not quite a smile, but not entirely unpleasant, either. “If it's quiet you could always get a... I dunno, a dog?” Or, he added silently, Alex could just come stay with her. But...he was in a good mood after this morning, and wasn't going to ruin it with thoughts of Styne.
“I'm...fine.” He winced internally at the very Winchester answer, but didn't bother to elaborate. Unfortunately, it was enough to distract him, and he could only grunt when she hopped up to sit on the counter, with his bottle behind her. Damnit. She knew she could get away with it too. She was one of few who could without actually risking pissing him off. Granted, he didn't do much but sulk when he was pissed off these days – at least, not that he ever let anyone see – but still.
Cas shrugged. It wasn't really all that terribly obvious, but he knew the signs of someone struggling with something while trying to not let on to anyone around them. And he knew her. He sighed and settled himself more comfortable back against the counter, eyes on her as she spoke. Writing it all down was a good thing, both for any information they could glean from it, and – more importantly in his view – as a way for her to sort it all out in her own head, to try to get a little distance and perspective on it for herself. But if it was getting worse, then writing it down probably wasn't enough anymore.
It worried him, her visions, her dreams. Not even what she saw, though that was occasionally disturbing enough. No, he worried for her, for what it was doing to her.
He'd look at her however he pleased, and he offered her an exaggerated glare briefly just to get that point across. He knew very well she was stronger than she appeared. Hell, she was stronger than she even gave herself credit for. But she was only human, and sometimes, the things she saw....well, they'd have been enough o give him serious pause even back before he fell, with all the things he'd seen during eons of being Heaven's soldier.
“Good. These days...everyone should at least know how to handle a gun.” He paused. She'd given him the perfect opening to make the offer he made pretty much every time he came out to see her, though, one way or another. “You could always come back to the bunker, you know. All the books your heart could desire, right there for the reading.”
He should have known she'd insist on turning the conversation back to him. He understood it, in a way. She was hungry to hear about anyone and anything outside her little sanctuary. Yeah, he could get that, even if it was a sentiment he didn't share very often. At least, with him, he knew she was also just genuinely interested in how he was, in him for who he was, without the baggage of who he'd once been intruding so much. Oh, of course, she knew what he'd been – what he still was, if only barely – but it just didn't seem to change her expectations of him, didn't seem to make her put him on a pedestal the way he sometimes feared everyone else who'd known him before did.
“I..uh.. Well.” He sighed, letting his eyes – which had been on her the whole time, watching, observing everything – drop down to stare absently at the tips of his boots peeking out from under the cuffs of his slightly too long jeans. “I kinda slipped last night. I mean, the usual. The kids partied because 'yay, we won' like they do. I...joined them.” He darted a glance back up at her, knowing she knew him well enough to know that meant he drank even more freely than usual, before he let his gaze drop back again. It was just easier to talk about this without having to see her every reaction.
“Zyllah stuck around to join them too,” he added slowly. He didn't even know why he said it, it wasn't an unusual thing for Zee to do. Maybe it was just that he was having trouble saying what he really needed to. Maybe, even though Paige knew about his random hookups from time to time and had never judged him for them, he was afraid she would react differently this time. With good reason. This time was different.
There was a sigh before he continued, his voice lowering a bit, growing more hesitant, yet...also with some indecipherable little thing underlying it, something quite unlike him. “Alex decided I had enough. I..think that's why he was pissed and trying to take my whiskey away. Probably.” There was the fainest of shrugs. “Zee came to the rescue. Except...she took me back to my room, this time.” He hesitated, yet again, running his fingers through his hair – and noting absently that he expected Claire to say something any day now about it getting too long again – before letting his hand drop to start to fiddle absently with a button on his jacket.
“Fuck, Paige.” He looked up to to her, maintaining the eye contact this time. “ We, uh... Yeah, we did. I was fuckin' drunk, and I asked her to stay. And she did.” He left the rest unsaid. She wasn't stupid, after all. “But, the thing is...I don't want it to be like the rest. I, uh.” Yeah, that was it, he couldn't keep looking at her, knowing that there was just too much emotion to completely mask away just below the surface. She didn't need to see that. No one did, really. “I care about her, Paige. I...think she cares about me.”
His eyes slipped closed. He'd sworn there would be no one, not ever again. Not after losing Dean as he did. Never again. And yet...now there was Zyllah. He wasn't even sure how or why it had happened, not really. It just...snuck up on him, with last night only making him finally start to see it. And it left him so very torn.
“And I don't have the faintest fucking idea what to do about it.”
Comfy couches were seriously the best thing ever, especially after a rough night. Paige was finally starting to wake up, wrapped up a bit much in her blanket, a little groggy as she didn’t realize quite how much, hitting the floor with a soft thud. She sighed and shook her head sitting up and rolling her eyes. “...Good morning world.” She grumbled a bit more, rubbing her cheeks as she unwound the blanket, proving to herself just how restless she had been in her sleep.
She had seen all manners of things in her dreams. But that was the problem with them… how much of it was a dream… and how much of it had been real? She shook her head some more, as she shoved herself to her feet, she headed to the bathroom, washing her face, trying to wake up some more.
“Bah.” She looked to herself in the mirror for a long moment, then away, drying her hands as she decided to pad upstairs, make some coffee at least and try to really wake up. She grabbed her phone to see if she had missed anything, slipping it back into her pocket. She knew nothing had come in, she couldn’t sense anything upstairs and she knew if the wards were tripped that there would be people here already. Trying to figure out what tripped it.
She opened the trap door, and then slipped out, letting it close behind her. She headed for the kitchen, getting the coffee on before moving to grab a shower, wash off the previous night, and try to see things clearly again.
….Or as clearly as she could sometimes.
Getting out, dried off, changed, she looked around her room for a moment, her perfectly made bed. She couldn’t remember the last time that she slept in it. She tapped her lips a moment, nope. Not even a chance at even taking a stab in the dark to remember. She chuckled a little.
Heading back to the kitchen humming she noticed that the sun was shining, a momentary reminder that the world hadn’t burned yet. Even with everything that had been happening. And she got down a mug, getting herself a cup of coffee, she noticed that she would need to go shopping, but she would see if someone from the bunker wanted to go with her. She knew they had asked her not to go out alone. The same request that they made of those in the bunker. And… she did try to keep to that.
Besides. After she promised someone, she had kept to that. Because a promise was a promise and he’d be upset with her. For breaking that trust. She was humming still, as she thought over things, closing her eyes as she sighed and opened them again. Nope. Still couldn’t move anything. Bah! She had read in the tomes it might be possible. Considering her gifts. Maybe she could talk to someone about that. Figuring herself out more. She wanted to be a bigger help.
Her aim was a lot better now, target practice went better (especially considering she kept her eyes open now), and lord knows she was armed all around the cabin. They had made sure of that. She tapped her fingers on the counter, as she pulled out her phone again, texting Mik.
-When you or one of yours has time… I want to try and learn more. -PP-
She grabbed a notebook from inside the cabinet. It hid behind a loaf of bread and a few other incidentals that she should probably check on, she sat on the counter, making notes now about what she saw in her dream. Separating them out line by line to try and make sure that she could have some clarity about things. To see if she could figure out if they had just been an overactive imagination or something else. None of it involved anyone in the bunker.
But she had been in one. She took a sip of her coffee and made a face. “Jesse makes coffee… and it tastes like it was made by Angels. I make coffee… and its like… good luck getting it down!” She sighed and put some more sugar in it. Then a bit more. Just for good measure. She chuckled to herself though, getting a little grin on her face at a passing thought, then took another sip declaring it passable, and continued to write in her book.
CASTIEL--
It had taken Cas longer than he'd like too admit to make himself move from the bunker's kitchen after Zyllah'd left. He'd let his gaze linger on the doorway for far too long after she'd passed through it, just thinking. 'Tonight' she'd said, the single, simple word sounding like a promise. He couldn't let himself dwell on it too long, or he'd probably never move from this spot. Or, even worse, it might finally start to sink in. Yeah, thinking about things too much was never a good thing, for him. It lead places best not even considered – not while sober, anyway.
With a grunt, shot Paige a quick text to let her know he was on his way. Then he grabbed the bag of a few non-perishable groceries he'd stashed early yesterday before the run and, of course, the bottle he'd drug into the kitchen off the counter and wandered out to the garage. Grateful that the Impala was sitting there, he grabbed the keys from where they were kept on a peg – because, hey, she might be his now, but he shared with Claire and Ben, since he didn't go out much on his own anymore – and slipped behind the wheel.
The drive wasn't really that long, but he was on guard the whole way. Not so much against monsters, because, well...there was enough grace left to usually give him warning when something not human, not natural - and there was a sentiment that always amused him with it's inaccuracy – was close by. And, hey, he'd have some warning when his grace finally faded to the point that he could no longer even rely on that angelic sense. The perks of living with a half-demon. But he was on guard nonetheless, mostly against his own thoughts, his own feelings.
The dirt road leading out to Paige's little hideaway left a fine sheen of dust on the Impala's otherwise gleaming black exterior. Cas made a note to himself – one that was completely unneeded, because caring for the car was something he never, ever forgot, once he'd meticulously taught himself how to do it properly – to give her a good cleaning when he got back to the bunker later. Yeah, okay, maybe he was trying to distract himself. So what?
When he pulled up to Paige's place, he cut the rough purr of the engine and just sat there for a moment, eyes slipping closed briefly as he allowed his senses to expand. When he felt nothing out of the ordinary – at least, what he would consider out of the ordinary for Paige and her place – he sighed and opened his eyes again. He snatched up the bag of groceries from the passenger seat, then sat quietly for another few moments, his eyes lingering on the bottle he'd brought along. With a mental shrug that basically amounted to 'fuck it' he grabbed the whiskey and stuffed it down into the bag, then unfolded himself from behind the wheel.
He approached the door and knocked lightly, head tilted absently to the side, the faintest of smiles lingering on his lips as his thoughts drifted to Zyllah once more.
PAIGE--
It wasn’t all that much longer that she got the text from Castiel, letting her know that he was on his way. She texted him back. Her usual be careful sort of text, as she slipped from the counter, finishing up what she had been writing and setting it to the side in case she recalled something else of note. She figured it was easier that way sometimes.
Paige smiled a bit though, she did like visits, especially when it was Castiel. She was able to relax some, which was a good thing. She headed downstairs, bringing back up a box, going through the contents. There was basically something for everyone in there. It was things that she had come across since last she had seen them, and she rather hoped that they would find the things of use.
She dropped it on the kitchen table, glancing to it for a moment, before descending downstairs again. She came back up with a notebook and dropped it into the box too. She shut it back up, and then returned to her coffee, taking a sip as she tried to think if there was anything else that she wanted to make sure they had.
Granted… some of her texts she thought could help… but… it was rather hard to get her to part with that sort of thing. Considering. It… was one of those things though. If she moved to the bunker she would be able to share things all the easier. She tapped her lips, sighing some.
That was one of those ongoing struggles with herself that she had on a daily basis. She knew, that she had a lot to learn. She was a better shot for damn sure. That was thanks to some patient teaching that she had gone through. And she wanted to learn more about fighting. Be a better help than just with the books and the visions… telepathy and things like that could only get her so far. She knew she could handle it. She could. She was stronger than she seemed. And she’d been on her own long enough to know that.
She was knocked out of those thoughts though, as she heard the purr of the Impala, it was getting close, and her eyes flicked to the front door. She unlocked it, peeking out with a grin.
“Castiel!” She opened the door more widely. “Come on in..” She said as she would let him in then close and lock it behind him. “You can set the bag in the kitchen…” She was walking him that way, and as soon as the bag was on the counter she was hugging him tightly.
“Glad you were able to come up here.” She said with a smile, squeezing him again. Needless to say he had been missed.
CASTIEL--
“Hello, Paige.” While her greeting was enthusiastic, Cas' was more subdued, though he was just as happy to see her. He followed along with her to the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter with a dull thunk just as she'd instructed. He'd barely gotten it down and started to turn toward her when he found himself with his arms full of her. A laugh bubbled up as he wrapped his arms around her.
No matter how many times he experienced it, Paige's joy in seeing him never failed to take him by surprise.
He gave her a squeeze, then let his arms fall away. “Yeah. Me, too. It's been too long.” There was a pause, then he offered her a brief, wry smile. “Again.” He reached into the bag he'd brought, pulled out his bottle of whiskey and cracked it open. “You doing okay out here,” Cas asked her, taking a swig from the bottle while studying her closely. She looked...a little tired, but basically okay.
He took another pull from the bottle, then sat it down on the counter with a sigh and folded his arms across his chest. “You've been having dreams again, haven't you?” It was a question. Technically. But he already felt he knew the answer. He'd come out with the idea of getting her advice about Zee, but...this was more important.
“You wanna talk about it?” His head tilted to the side as he continued to study her, eyes narrowed slightly. He hated to think of her dealing with her burden all alone, but...it wasn't something he could really help with – not any more, at any rate – aside from listening if she wanted to talk.
PAIGE--
Paige was used to the more subdued version of Cas, so it wasn’t a surprise nor anything that made her any less happy at the moment. She didn’t take it as a slight, she could tell by his eyes that he was happy too. She’d gotten so good at reading him. She moved with him to the kitchen, and then she heard that laugh and smiled more brightly.
She knew it was always a surprise that she was so genuinely happy to see him. And granted, yes she was happy for the company, a break in the quiet. But he made her happy. He always had.
That squeeze meant the world and as it fell away, she looked up to him and smiled a bit. “You say that everytime… y’know?” She chuckled a little shaking her head as she noticed the bottle getting pulled out. “Whiskey… at… a little after noon.” She shook her head a bit, gently chiding him in her own way. “Me? Oh… place is still standing. Got plenty of fire wood. And… I take it there was more than that whiskey in the bag.” She peeked in grinning a bit. “Some of my favorite things… really?” She smiled over to him. “But… other than it… sometimes being a bit too quiet… I’m ok.” She said as she tilted her head.
“And you?” She was always able to pull things out of him. Sometimes more than the others. She saw him take another pull from the bottle, and when it was set on the counter and his hands were away from it, she slipped onto the counter, slipping it behind her. He’d have to get up close and personal to get it back, and she rather thought she was safe on that account.
“They… don’t stop anymore.” She said honestly, she’d never lie to anyone in that bunker. But… Castiel… she knew there was no use in trying to sugarcoat it. “Does it show that bad?” She sighed as she rested her head against the cabinet and looked back to him. “I … see things more often now.” She glanced to him, shrugging a little bit. “Sometimes it makes sense… sometimes it doesn’t…. same with the dreams. I’ve been writing it down, like you suggested.” She brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “But… at least I was able to get information to Alex yesterday… for you guys. At least I was a little bit of a help.”
His eyes narrowed and she raised a brow at him. “Don’t give me that look, Cas. I’m… a grown girl… and… contrary to popular belief… I’m stronger than I appear. I mean… granted… before… there was a group… that did what I do… and now… its me…” She said softly. “Men of Letters… reduced to Girl of Letters.” She went quiet a moment. “But. I’m going to find out more. I’m going to get my grubby little paws on more texts… better texts. Just need to sell the rest of my soul off to get it. And then learn to fight better. My shooting has greatly improved since the very first time that Alex had to tell me not to point my pistol at someone that I didn’t want to kill. He moved pretty fast.” She chuckled at that and shook her head.
“But… what about you… how go things in the bunker…. How… goes things with you?” She tilted her head, redirecting the conversation back to him for a moment.
CASTIEL--
Cas only shrugged, unconcerned. It was true every time. He always waited a little longer than he should before coming out, unless she specifically contacted him to ask him to come. Though that was rare, because she was always stubborn about asking for help, let alone something as simple as a request for company. Ah well. At least he did always come, even if it took him awhile sometimes to prod himself into leaving the bunker for anything other than a run he was just...needed on.
A grin was his answer to her questioning his drinking. He was billions of years old, what did he care for silly human conventions about proper times to drink? At least, it made a good excuse.
He laughed as she peeked into the bag. “Of course. I know you'll still need to go out to get stuff, but I thought it might help. No one'll notice it gone from the kitchen anyway.” He paused to consider. “Well, maybe Jesse, but he won't say anything.” His lips twisted a bit, not quite a smile, but not entirely unpleasant, either. “If it's quiet you could always get a... I dunno, a dog?” Or, he added silently, Alex could just come stay with her. But...he was in a good mood after this morning, and wasn't going to ruin it with thoughts of Styne.
“I'm...fine.” He winced internally at the very Winchester answer, but didn't bother to elaborate. Unfortunately, it was enough to distract him, and he could only grunt when she hopped up to sit on the counter, with his bottle behind her. Damnit. She knew she could get away with it too. She was one of few who could without actually risking pissing him off. Granted, he didn't do much but sulk when he was pissed off these days – at least, not that he ever let anyone see – but still.
Cas shrugged. It wasn't really all that terribly obvious, but he knew the signs of someone struggling with something while trying to not let on to anyone around them. And he knew her. He sighed and settled himself more comfortable back against the counter, eyes on her as she spoke. Writing it all down was a good thing, both for any information they could glean from it, and – more importantly in his view – as a way for her to sort it all out in her own head, to try to get a little distance and perspective on it for herself. But if it was getting worse, then writing it down probably wasn't enough anymore.
It worried him, her visions, her dreams. Not even what she saw, though that was occasionally disturbing enough. No, he worried for her, for what it was doing to her.
He'd look at her however he pleased, and he offered her an exaggerated glare briefly just to get that point across. He knew very well she was stronger than she appeared. Hell, she was stronger than she even gave herself credit for. But she was only human, and sometimes, the things she saw....well, they'd have been enough o give him serious pause even back before he fell, with all the things he'd seen during eons of being Heaven's soldier.
“Good. These days...everyone should at least know how to handle a gun.” He paused. She'd given him the perfect opening to make the offer he made pretty much every time he came out to see her, though, one way or another. “You could always come back to the bunker, you know. All the books your heart could desire, right there for the reading.”
He should have known she'd insist on turning the conversation back to him. He understood it, in a way. She was hungry to hear about anyone and anything outside her little sanctuary. Yeah, he could get that, even if it was a sentiment he didn't share very often. At least, with him, he knew she was also just genuinely interested in how he was, in him for who he was, without the baggage of who he'd once been intruding so much. Oh, of course, she knew what he'd been – what he still was, if only barely – but it just didn't seem to change her expectations of him, didn't seem to make her put him on a pedestal the way he sometimes feared everyone else who'd known him before did.
“I..uh.. Well.” He sighed, letting his eyes – which had been on her the whole time, watching, observing everything – drop down to stare absently at the tips of his boots peeking out from under the cuffs of his slightly too long jeans. “I kinda slipped last night. I mean, the usual. The kids partied because 'yay, we won' like they do. I...joined them.” He darted a glance back up at her, knowing she knew him well enough to know that meant he drank even more freely than usual, before he let his gaze drop back again. It was just easier to talk about this without having to see her every reaction.
“Zyllah stuck around to join them too,” he added slowly. He didn't even know why he said it, it wasn't an unusual thing for Zee to do. Maybe it was just that he was having trouble saying what he really needed to. Maybe, even though Paige knew about his random hookups from time to time and had never judged him for them, he was afraid she would react differently this time. With good reason. This time was different.
There was a sigh before he continued, his voice lowering a bit, growing more hesitant, yet...also with some indecipherable little thing underlying it, something quite unlike him. “Alex decided I had enough. I..think that's why he was pissed and trying to take my whiskey away. Probably.” There was the fainest of shrugs. “Zee came to the rescue. Except...she took me back to my room, this time.” He hesitated, yet again, running his fingers through his hair – and noting absently that he expected Claire to say something any day now about it getting too long again – before letting his hand drop to start to fiddle absently with a button on his jacket.
“Fuck, Paige.” He looked up to to her, maintaining the eye contact this time. “ We, uh... Yeah, we did. I was fuckin' drunk, and I asked her to stay. And she did.” He left the rest unsaid. She wasn't stupid, after all. “But, the thing is...I don't want it to be like the rest. I, uh.” Yeah, that was it, he couldn't keep looking at her, knowing that there was just too much emotion to completely mask away just below the surface. She didn't need to see that. No one did, really. “I care about her, Paige. I...think she cares about me.”
His eyes slipped closed. He'd sworn there would be no one, not ever again. Not after losing Dean as he did. Never again. And yet...now there was Zyllah. He wasn't even sure how or why it had happened, not really. It just...snuck up on him, with last night only making him finally start to see it. And it left him so very torn.
“And I don't have the faintest fucking idea what to do about it.”